In the name of the Barbaro, the Hoof, and the Holy Silks

From the Gospel of Barbaro, Chapter 14

...Thus Barbaro came forth and said nothing. And the prophets left their careers, families, and homes, and came to Barbaro's stable. The prophets and disciples of Barbaro brought forth their offerings, made of cat-hair covered letters and dance. This was done at the behest of the great whale, who in his eye all can see the rise and fall of human civilization. And all of the pets on their message board wished the great horse well, while talking about the water of the toilet basins and the clawing of the living room curtains. And the great prophet, the one called Dee Mirich brought forth her great gift of inane poetry, and musings on her feline friends. Despite the laminitis, all was good in the world. Affirmed...

You know, I understand that Barbaro's performance at the Kentucky Derby was amazing. And his being put down due to his leg injury was sad, a reminder that a sport might be wrong if the main participant doesn't have a say in his participation. But, in the words of the immortal Gob Bluth: Come On!

The obsession so many people seem to have with this horse is just crazy. ESPN isn't wrong titling their article Church of Barbaro, as it has taken an almost quasi-religious bent. It seems like all at once all of the crazy cat ladies have come out of the woodwork to spread the gospel of his Horsiness.

I'm just worried about the theology of the matter. If Barbaro is our horse savior, then is Joey Porter's dog the AntiBarbaro? Will a separate church of Secretariat sprout up, claiming him as the true Horsiness? Will a great schism occur that will result in a branch of horse protestantism, because of the corruptness of the horse pope and his horse bishops? Where does Sandusky and Molly, my family's two cats, fit into the hierarchy?

I honestly am worried about what will be forgotten and what will be passed down about this crazy decade. In some future history tome, will the founding of Barbaroism, and the great religious war of the Mirichists and the Goshenists that will inevitably follow, overshadow the mess in the Middle East? Only time will tell....